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Who is Yumiko, Anyway?

Biography

I was born one heck of a long time ago, in Ivalice, during the time of the Lion War, and I was one of the handful of cadets that saved the world from total destruction by hideous forces of pure evil -- and what thanks did I get but to be written out of history by the establishment! Yes, even in those days, the system was oppressing the masses. I swore then and there that I would have my revenge.

It wasn't long before I came across the fledgeling Japanese civilization, assumed the role of their leader, and started running the nation behind the scenes. This is where and how I've spent most of my days -- as the secret master Shogun, Prime Minister, or High Priestess of Japan, whichever suited the purposes for the time. During my reign, we have forged a prosperous alliance with the Sioux, and cured cancer.

Most recently, I've been working with IdHOP News doing interviews.

Experience

Oh yeah. Not only have I been trained in the ways of the Ninja and the diplomat, but I have mastered the art of the Oracle, Samurai, Knight, and the shakuhachi. And quite a few others that I'm not going to bore you by listing.

The Ninja Difference

There are numerous reasons to choose a Ninja over a non-Ninja, I'll list a couple.

• Stealth Assassinations. Standard procedure today, if trouble brews up in some third-world country, is to send in a bunch of US troops to fight, some of which will die, not to mention the foreign troops doing the same. But, usually, it's just one nut who's stirring up trouble, not the whole country, so, if we had a Ninja as Commander-In-Chief, she could sneak into their country under cover of darkness and eliminate the radical dictator, completely undetected.

• The "Bad Dudes" Scenario.

  

  Simply put, if the President herself is a Ninja, she's much less likely to be kidnapped by other Ninjas.

Wait a Second...

Those of you paying attention are probably wondering, "Hey, if you were born in Ivalice and live in Japan, doesn't that make you ineligible for US President?" That's a good question, but one I can easily answer. The US Constitution states that you need to be either a natural born citizen or a citizen at the time of the adoption of the Constitution. Luckily for me, I was over in America on business around 1789, so I got free citizenship out of the deal. Right place, right time... hey, I'm not complaining. And you only need to have spent 14 years of residence in the US, which I've done more than.