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The Campaign Trail

2/12/01: Exposing the Conspiracies

Today, I'm going to bring to the forefront the educational conspiracies I've been talking about. I'll be taking a look at Valparaiso University since I have an inside source there, but I'm sure similar things are happening in universities nationwide. Before we continue, let me stress that these pictures and quotes are all real, taken directly from one of VU's publications, and have not been doctored or altered in any way.

Take a look at these pictures of championed former VU president O.P. Kretzmann...


O.P. Kretzmann standing amid the ruins of Valpo's old Chapel-Auditorium

And therein lies the truth: O.P. Kretzmann Was a Gangster! He had always wanted to build a new Chapel, and it was a real shame that the old one burned down, forcing them to build a new one.

Here we see good ol' O.P. watching a football game. Making sure Valpo's student soldier regime was meeting his expectations, no doubt.

Get this:
"In the '40s VU had secretly bought land, envisioning a greater future."

For what reason, pray tell, would a university need to buy land in secret unless they were trying to hide something hideously evil? I think we'd be safe assuming the worst here.

Here we see O.P. Kretzmann (right) talking with one of his 'Recruits.' I don't know about you, but this picture is just screaming 'Mafia connections' to me.

Convinced yet? I'm missing a lot of the details, but I'm on to something, and I shall not rest until the conspiracies within are brought to the forefront, and I can have my vengeance.