The Drake Equation is a research tool designed to make educated guesses for one of science's most elusive questions: Is there intelligent life on other worlds? It works like so: You take the number of stars in a certain population (the galaxy, for example), multiply that by the fraction of stars which have planets, then multiply that by the average number of planets per star where conditions are right for life, then that by the probability that, given conditions, life will emerge, etc., etc., etc., until you multiply everything out and find out how many civilizations there are in the galaxy.

So, in a bout of moping and self-pity, I decided to turn Drake's method on another, far more elusive question: Will I ever find true love? I came up with this equation to determine the number of relationships I could expect to have over the course of my lifetime: