Round 5

Obi-Wan Kenobi 20, El Mariachi 1

El Mariachi continued his obsessive pursuit of vengeance, which led him to the galaxy's most wretched hive of scum and villanry -- Mos Eisley spaceport on Tatooine. As he entered a local cantina (with all the shadows following him and stuff, like usual), Obi-Wan Kenobi, who happened to be at the bar at just that time, sensed a great disturbance in the force.

"This is not the bar you're looking for," Obi-Wan hinted to the stranger, in hopes of avoiding a conflict.

"But," replied El Mariachi, "I'm not looking for a bar. I'm looking for a man named Bucho."

The cantina patrons went into an uproar, and within seconds both combatants had their weapons ready. El Mariachi proceeded to kill very many people (including Greedo, who didn't get a shot off first), but when he turned to Obi-Wan, he found that all the guns you can stuff in a guitar case are no match for the awesome power of the Force. Kenobi deflected El Mariachi's hand cannon shots with ease, slowly advanced on the stranger -- and as they came face to face, the guitar player ran out of ammo, and fell to his knees in surrender.

Indiana Jones 12, William Wallace 7

Indiana was paying a visit to the ruins of Ursalia in the Scottish Highlands, when he came across an inscription -- in Latin. "Estuanus... intereus... ira vehementi," he read aloud, softly.

"Aye, ye danna spake Latin? That i' something we'll have ta remedy," sounded the voice of William Wallace, who had followed him in.

"Oh, I speak Latin alright. Who are you, anyway?"

"Ah bet ye cannot kill me with that rock," Wallace challenged, motioning to a small boulder on the ground. "Go ahead, try it. Ah won't move, honest."

Seeing no harm in playing along with his game, Indy reached down to pick up the rock, inadvertently tripping one of those huge-mofo-boulder-traps, which William Wallace happened to be right in the path of, and was crushed.

Jackie Chan 11, Link III 10

Jackie met up with Link in the middle of the Lost woods. Assuming he was a thief, Link armed himself with everything he had already found while Jackie defended himself with everything he find in mid-battle. Magic canes clashed up against tree branches, hookshots clashed up against ladders, arrows were caught and thrown back, and quick punches and kicks were no good against a shield.

The battle turned when Jackie took a risk, caught the blade edge of the Master Sword in his bare hands, and disarmed the Hylian Knight, and then proceeded to backhand Link a few times, knowing that victory was his.

(ed. note: It's too bad I'm not doing any sort of real-time updating with this, because the tides of this battle shifted with practically every ballot I received.)

Li Mu Bai 16, J. S. Bach 7

The Wudan fighter Li Mu Bai travelled to Bach's cathedral. He had heard of Bach's reputation and sought him out to further his meditative training. "Greetings, Bach. I have heard many good things about you, and I was wondering if I could, perhaps, meditate to your fugues."

Bach just scowled, improvised a 9-part fugue in Death Minor, followed it up with a few augmented fourths and a major seventh just for spite, and then shouted "I AM BAAAAACH." Li Mu Bai, however, had been trained to withstand such a test of wits, and was unshaken, as his yin and yang were in balance.

"You mock me. I am Li Mu Bai. I rule," shouted Li (in Mandarin), as he drew Green Destiny, and cleft one of Bach's organ pipes in twain, demonstrating the sword's superior craftsmanship. This act just angered Bach, who proceeded to play a fugue carefully designed to resonate throughout the cathedral and bring parts of it crashing down all around.

But the Wudan fighter flew through the debris with ease, and all of the composer's tricks could not stop him as he claimed the winning blow.

Placement Rounds

Samus Aran 10, Zaphod Beeblebrox 7

Megaman 18, Vanessa-Mae 6

Frodo Baggins 15, Weird Al 7

Sir Lancelot 13, Roosevelt 7