Highlights
Admiral slain; Cylons insist robot girl not one of their own
Admiral William Adama was found murdered in his quarters by a robot girl identified only as “Cameron,” though Cylon spokestoasters have denied any involvement, claiming she’s not one of their models. Statements by Dr. Gaius Baltar corroborate the Cylon claims: “of course she’s not a Cylon,” he stated in a press conference, “her spine doesn’t even light up when she fraks. Plus she was totally sent here from the future.”
Investigations ongoing in death ray incident
Beijing gold-medalists Misty May and Keri Walsh were mysteriously turned to sand by a colossal death ray following a volleyball match last night. Police have not released the names of any suspects but say this could only be the work of someone with a PhD in horribleness.
Canary Yellow welcomed back to stage of history with repeated zanbatou strikes to the face
Canary Yellow, who had left Rainbow Land to pick daffodils near the Silk Road Ruins, tried offering a flower to Seong Mina, who didn’t like her face and then did that one same overhead strike move over and over again until Canary fell off the edge of the ring.
Rorschach’s Journal. October 12, 1992.
Arrived in Los Santos in morning. Streets reek with the stench of whores and drug dealers. Saw gang symbols sprayed on culvert. Freshly painted. The accumulated filth of all their sex and car theft will foam up about their waists and all the gangs and the underground street racers will look up and shout “save us,” and I’ll look down and whisper, “no.”
Dusk. Young man on Grove Street tried to steal car. Wore green. Ran him over.