Highlights

Admiral slain; Cylons insist robot girl not one of their own
Admiral William Adama was found murdered in his quarters by a robot girl identified only as “Cameron,” though Cylon spokestoasters have denied any involvement, claiming she’s not one of their models. Statements by Dr. Gaius Baltar corroborate the Cylon claims: “of course she’s not a Cylon,” he stated in a press conference, “her spine doesn’t even light up when she fraks. Plus she was totally sent here from the future.”

Investigations ongoing in death ray incident
Beijing gold-medalists Misty May and Keri Walsh were mysteriously turned to sand by a colossal death ray following a volleyball match last night. Police have not released the names of any suspects but say this could only be the work of someone with a PhD in horribleness.

Canary Yellow welcomed back to stage of history with repeated zanbatou strikes to the face
Canary Yellow, who had left Rainbow Land to pick daffodils near the Silk Road Ruins, tried offering a flower to Seong Mina, who didn’t like her face and then did that one same overhead strike move over and over again until Canary fell off the edge of the ring.

Rorschach’s Journal. October 12, 1992.
Arrived in Los Santos in morning. Streets reek with the stench of whores and drug dealers. Saw gang symbols sprayed on culvert. Freshly painted. The accumulated filth of all their sex and car theft will foam up about their waists and all the gangs and the underground street racers will look up and shout “save us,” and I’ll look down and whisper, “no.”

Dusk. Young man on Grove Street tried to steal car. Wore green. Ran him over.

Full Results (22 ballots submitted)
Buck Rogers Amazing Stories	16	Ashe Final Fantasy XII	11
Seong Mi-na Soul Calibur	34	Canary Rainbow Brite	4
Kirby Kirby’s Dream Land	32	Crash Crash Bandicoot	3
Dr. McNinja Dr. McNinja	21	WALL-E WALL-E	15
Éowyn Lord of the Rings	32	Rachael Blade Runner	4
Bald Bull Punch-Out!!	11	Vanessa Luminous Arc	8
Ayane Dead or Alive	12	Julie Echo	6
Tyler Fight Club	27	Faith Buffy	13
Flash The Flash	26	Squirtle Pokémon	11
Moon Knight Moon Knight	17	Richard Rahl The Sword of Truth	11
Ben Full Throttle	16	Little Prince The Little Prince	7
Ender Ender’s Game	25	Bliss Whip It!	4
Gadget Inspector Gadget	20	Simba The Lion King	18
Meta Knight Kirby’s Dream Land	20	Courtney Ratchet & Clank	9
George & Oscar Arrested Development	18	Ami Machine Girl	15
Rorschach Watchmen	30	CJ Grand Theft Auto	7
Skeletor Masters o/t Universe	33	Ariel The Little Mermaid	8
Dr. Doom Fantastic Four	20	Green Arrow Green Arrow	3
Aslan Chronicles of Narnia	32	Mouth Darkwing Duck	6
Dr. Horrible Dr. Horrible	20	May/Walsh U.S. Volleyball	13
Boomer Battlestar Galactica	22	Tron Bonne Megaman Legends	9
The Godfather The Godfather	20	Payne Final Fantasy X-2	15
Jayne Firefly	30	Lola Run Lola Run	10
Napoleon Napoleon Dynamite	18	Melora Rasputina	6
Rash Battletoads	20	Curly The Three Stooges	8
Yuna Final Fantasy X	31	Mr. Met The New York Mets	5
Composite Santa Robot Chicken	18	Slash Guns N’ Roses	10
Terra Final Fantasy VI	17	Elric Elric of Melniboné	11
Rand The Wheel of Time	14	Izuna Izuna	9
Elastigirl The Incredibles	17	Raistlin Dragonlance	15
Cameron Terminator	17	Adama Battlestar Galactica	14
Domino Domino	24	Andy 40-Year-Old Virgin	13
Mr. Krabs Spongebob	14	Felicia Darkstalkers	10
Seven of Nine Star Trek: Voyager	20	Elora Spyro the Dragon	6
Man With No Name A Fistful of Dollars	19	Ridley Metroid	12
Leela Futurama	18	He-Man Masters o/t Universe	17
Bunny O’Justice Killer Bunnies	14	Lucy D.E.B.S.	6
Scorpion Mortal Kombat	15	Vash Trigun	14
Bloodberry Saber Marionette J	13	Anibelle The Wotch	6
Punisher The Punisher	29	Favre Green Bay Packers	13
Starbuck Battlestar Galactica	23	Cpt. Hilts The Great Escape	5
Conan Conan	26	Gruffi Gummi Bears	10