Highlights

“Tricksy Bucketses was after my precious, it was!”
Mr. Bucket -- who had been sent to Middle Earth as part of a care package intended for the victims of the dragon Smaug, was torn to pieces by the creature Gollum. Gollum had apparently interpreted Mr. Bucket's zany antics not as family fun for everyone, but rather as an attempt to "steal my precious," and then started clawing, biting, and stomping on the motorized toy.

When asked to comment following the match, Gollum shrieked incoherently and then ran and hid in a corner.

Cecil confronts inner demons, toy demon
Cecil Harvey, dark knight in the service of the King of Baron, was on board one of the Red Wings airships, contemplating the ethics of his latest orders, when a small, beaked menace fell from the sky on deck. The Furby began babbling in a demonic tongue, and Cecil knew he was face to face with true evil. After regaining his sanity, and being pecked in the face for about 20 minutes, Cecil built up the willpower to face this darkness, slew the foul creature, and cast it overboard.

MI6 reports success in eliminating “Sinistar” threat
Just days after the British Secret Intelligence Service released a report indicating that small red worker drones were mining asteroid fields in an attempt to create a cackling superweapon known as "The Sinistar," they have announced that the threat has been taken care of, single-handedly, by an agent identified only as "007."

“I am Kratos, and I will murder the Salem, Pennsylvania Underground Street Fighting Champion.”
These memorable words came from a press conference Kratos held this past Thursday announcing his intent to confront and kill Salem, PA high school student Larson Degado. Kratos arrived on the scene as Larson was talking with classmates Zoë and Lisa. The fight lasted mere moments -- caught off-gurad, Larson managed only to get off a glancing blow before being utterly smacked down by the Blades of Chaos.

Black Knight confronts Medusa
The Gorgon Medusa, sick of just hiding out somewhere, decided to go off and wander the world. Soon, she crossed paths with a Black Knight who sought to impede her journey.

“None shall pass,” threatened the Black Knight.

Medusa turned to address him, and he was turned to stone. Thinking she had won, she proceeded down the pass when she heard the Black Knight call out again: “Oh, oh, I see, running away then.”

Confused, Medusa called back, “But you're turned entirely to stone!”

“Am not,” the Black Knight denied.

“All right, try to move then,” challenged Medusa.

After a brief pause, the Black Knight taunted back, “I've had worse.”

Medusa, disbeleiving, shouted, “You liar! What are you gonna do, fall on me?”

And he did.

Full Results (24 ballots submitted)
Cervantes Soul Calibur	24	Nikki Operation: Mindcrime	4
Sydney Alias	22	Tetra Zelda: The Wind Waker	9
Domokun Japan	19	Kasumi Dead or Alive	7
Wicket Return of the Jedi	26	Captain EO EPCOT Center	6
Elvis Elvis Presley	24	Arden Lyn Masters of Teräs Käsi	11
Fin Raziel Willow	29	Heliotrope Pastel Defender Heliotrope	1
Leia Return of the Jedi	39	Anne The Wotch	5
Westley The Princess Bride	30	Jadis The Chronicles of Narnia	12
Khan Star Trek	34	Birdo Super Mario Bros.	13
Huey Boondocks	19	Locke Final Fantasy VI	11
Miho Sin City	18	Preston Equilibrium	16
Snake Eyes G.I. Joe	15	Gordon Half-Life	14
Red XIII Final Fantasy VII	27	Algren The Last Samurai	8
Black Knight Monty Python and the Holy Grail	30	Medusa Greek Mythology	13
Zasz Starcraft	15	Lady Sin El Cazador	10
River Firefly	28	Doc Ock Spider Man	8
Tassadar Starcraft	21	Jabba Return of the Jedi	14
Gort The Day the Earth Stood Still	20	Pit Kid Icarus	10
Prof. Chaos South Park	25	Fygar Dig Dug	11
Sméagol Lord of the Rings	20	Bucky Get Fuzzy	14
Jack Sparrow Pirates of the Carribean	32	Santa The North Pole	10
Voldo Soul Calibur	18	Ozma Marvelous Land of Oz	12
The Bride Kill Bill	33	Ling Ling Drawn Together	8
Magua Last of the Mohicans	17	Sora Kingdom Hearts	15
Hook Peter Pan	23	Katchoo Strangers in Paradise	7
Fruit Fucker Penny Arcade	26	iPod Dancer iPod Commercials	11
Flea Chrono Trigger	23	Walker Walker, Texas Ranger	17
Bond James Bond	32	Sinistar Sinistar	4
Bowser Super Mario Bros.	21	Anima Final Fantasy X	12
Aeon Aeon Flux	23	Tony Saturday Night Fever	9
Grimace McDonald’s Commercials	23	Joanna Perfect Dark	15
Big Bad Wolf The Three Little Pigs	18	Celes Final Fantasy VI	16
Kratos God of War	28	Larson Venus Envy	8
Jones Johnny Mnemonic	17	Hedwig Hedwig and the Angry Inch	7
Rikimaru Tenchu: Stealth Assassins	19	Chuck Decap Attack	5
Hagrid Harry Potter	28	Kim Kim Possible	11
Satchel Get Fuzzy	24	Eddie Chain Reaction	11
Badtz Maru Hello Kitty	17	Tetsuo Akira	16
Wolverine X-Men	30	The Prince Katamari Damacy	12
Cecil Final Fantasy IV	23	Furby Furby	10
Yautja Predator	22	Taki Soul Calibur	11
JFK US President	27	Gau Final Fantasy VI	7
Raphael Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles	29	Shuma-Gorath Dr. Strange	10
Gollum Lord of the Rings	37	Mr. Bucket Mr. Bucket	4
Taz Looney Toons	27	Ranma Ranma 1/2	6