Let's do a sport-by-sport breakdown...
Downhill skiing -- I've skied downhill before (never competitively), but the fact is it's been way too long. I haven't been on the slopes since before I moved to Madison six years ago, and I think they're kinda calling to me.
Cross-Country skiing -- OK, this one I already do. Again, not competitively or anything, but I do make good on my intentions to get out at least a few times each winter. But that leads into XC's weird cross-breed cousin...
Biathlon -- Now, I haven't in my life fired anything more powerful than a paintball gun, and would likely royally boff the shooting segment.... but the combination of intense cardio peppered with stages of calm and concentration has got me genuinely intrigued. In my head, I have this idea of setting up a row of cans in Olin Park and roller skating there from Monona Terrace with a BB Gun on my back. In my head, however, this scenario also does not involve me getting arrested. Maybe it'd be safer to set something up flipping between Dance Dance Revolution and the Wii Play shooting range?
Halfpipe, Freestyle skiing and Ski jump -- These three... I... think I'll leave to the Olympians.
Alpine Snowboarding -- Years of playing Snowboard Kids may have left me with unrealistic expectations for the sport. But it'd be fun to try sometime.
Figure Skating -- so... I'm in stocking feet. And I have wood floors. If you don't think I throw down toe loops and salchows every time I walk to the kitchen when I'm alone, you clearly haven't been spying on me.
Short Track Speed Skating -- if I'm gonna try anything like this, I'm going to have wheels on my feet, I'm going to have teammates, and I'm going to be allowed to hit people who try to pass me.
Ice Hockey -- Again... it's a different kind of skating than I'm used to. But they also arm you with sticks in this sport. And I know I've got a handful of friends that wouldn't at all mind seeing me on the ice... we'll see...
Curling -- Don't laugh, but I actually kinda like to watch curling. For reals, yo. It's nothing I'd ever go nuts over, but I've kinda got an itch to try it some time. I guess the local curling club has an open house in March, too... anyone else tempted to them up on their offer?
Luge / Skeleton -- ZOMG NO FEAR
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(Not pictured: 3 decommissioned DDR mats, a couple spare NES and Genesis controllers, and the Playstation 1 controllers I forgot about until after I had started putting things away)
so like... task force.
yeah. I'm assembling a task force. But not like the lame-ass political kind of task force. Well actually kind of like that, but also fucking bad-ass, and we're gonna march on washington and also probably the kremlin, and we're gonna fucking change this world just like we're taking it by storm. And this is who we need on it.
1. Me. It's my task force so i just get to be on it, just humor me.
2. We need someone who is extreme. I'm thinking we go with that one girl who lost the gold medal in snowboard cross in torino because she was just too extreme to not do a trick in the final stretch.
3. We need someone who can communicate our agenda to the world by rocking the fuck out. I'm thinking either the lead singer from Halestorm, Melora Creager, or The Edge.
4. We need someone who is thug. Is Jay-Z thug? I don't know my rappers very well.
5. We need Eliza Dushku because she is way freaking hot. If we can't get Eliza, then Devon Aoki or Christina Hendricks will do fine.
6. We need someone who knows how to work the system. Probably Martha Stewart, because, yeah, sure, she got caught, but she hasn't been back to prison since then so I guess that means she learned from her mistakes.
7. I want a Tesla Roadster. And I want it painted pink, dammit.
8. We need a ninja. I'm thinking probably Serena Williams because everybody knows that all tennis players are really ninjas in disguise and they all hide wakizashi in their tennis racquets and on the pro tour the tennis balls are actually C4.
9. We need a pirate -- now, I know what you're thinking, cathy's totally team Ninja, what kind of drugs do they have her on to make her want a pirate on her task force... but that's just it, this isn't about me, it's about changing the fucking world, and I'm willing to reach across the aisle to get this done.
10. We need a l33t hax0r. And nobody has more cred than Ada Lovelace. She was coding before computers even friggin' existed.
11. We need someone who can think outside the box, ideally whoever it was that invented Bacon Salt.
12. We need one more person to round out the team but it needs to be an everyday Jane/John Doe that nobody has heard of before, we'll just have a twitter contest or some shit and pull the name randomly out of the hat.
]]>Q: You talk about roller derby all the time and you've piqued my interest. When can I see it for myself?
A: Good question! The Mad Rollin' Dolls 2010 season opener is this Saturday, January 23rd, at the Coliseum. Doors open at 5pm. You can see the rest of their schedule at http://www.madrollindolls.com/
Q: So what is roller derby, anyways?
A: Only the most awesome thing ever.
Q: Is roller derby anything at all like the 2002 movie Rollerball starring LL Cool J?
A: No.
Q: Well then, what is it like?
A: Start with speed skating, then give each skater an offensive line and make it full contact, and you've got the basic idea. One skater on each team, the "jammer," wears a star on her helmet and gets points for lapping opposing skaters. The other four skaters on each team make up the "pack," and it's their job to help their own jammer through and hold their opponent's jammer behind.
This is the ultra-condensed explanation and although this is all you really need to know to start watching derby, I've left out some key rules. For more gritty details you can delve into WFTDA's Derby 101 or Derby News Network's Roller Derby Basics, and usually you can find some information about the rules in the program for whatever bout you're attending.
Q: Who is Tipsy Velvet?
A: That's me! One fun part of the tradition and unique character of roller derby is assuming a 'derby name,' and that's mine.
Q: Have you ever been kicked in the face?
A: No.
Q: So, about this Saturday... who are the Mad Rollin' Dolls playing against?
A: The Mad Rollin' Dolls are not a team, but a league made up of six teams. Four of these teams are 'home' teams and play primarily against each other: Saturday's bout is a double header featuring two match-ups of these four local teams.
Q: So which of these teams are you on?
A: I'm a mascot for the Vaudeville Vixens. We're the defending champions this year and we have a decidedly pro-pink-hair agenda.
Q: A mascot? I thought you were skating -- all last summer you were talking about derby practice. What up?
A: I tried out last year, and made it as far as their training camp ("Baby Dolls"), but at the end of the summer I did not make it onto any team. But I stayed involved with the league, was offered a sweet mascot gig, and I do plan to try out again for the next season.
Q: Umm... is it OK if I wait until you're actually skating to come see a bout?
A: But then you'll miss my sure-to-be fabulous performance as a mascot! Not only that, but derby is a fast-paced sport, and there's a lot going on at once. Your first time watching you might not know what's going on... if you get a head start on your derby education, you'll enjoy it more when I eventually take to the track. And besides... roller derby is awesome and amazing even without my presence. And do remember, this is a highly-ranked league and one of the first in the country. If you come to a MRD bout, you're not just seeing roller derby, you're guaranteed to see roller derby done well.
Q: I'd love to go, but Madison's a bit far for me...
A: Then check out your local league -- there are leagues popping up everywhere, and chances are there's one somewhere in your area code. I could name over a dozen leagues within a five hour drive of me and that's just off the top of my head.
]]>Below is a screenshot from a game. In this game, you plant random flower seeds. Once your first batch of flowers grows, you need to choose which flowers you want to keep and which flowers you want to plant again to try to get a better score (similar to Draw Poker or Yahtzee)
My burning question is: Looking at the screenshot above, and knowing nothing more about the game than what I just told you... are the flowers with the dark green background the flowers you want to keep, or the places you want to plant a new flower?
I'm looking for gut instinct here, try not to overthink it... your help is much appreciated!
(FB people -- please leave your comment on my blog rather than on Facebook so as not to sway the opinions of anyone else reading the comments)
]]>... I didn't have my driver's license yet.
... I hadn't ever tried out for a sports team, and probably wouldn't have believed you if you told me that someday I would.
... I hadn't come out to anyone yet.
... I liked kitties and bunnies and puppies... oh wait, I still do! Yay!
... I hadn't voted yet.
... I hadn't ever been to Australia, France, or Bermuda.
... I still lived with my parents (when I wasn't at school).
... I only owned maybe 40 or so video games all together.
... I didn't own a sewing machine, and probably wouldn't have known what to do with it even if I did.
... I wasn't a Backyard Hero.
... I didn't yet realize how much love sucked.
... my hair hadn't ever been anything other than its natural color.
... my software company was just an unofficial made-up thing and not an actual legal entity with registered trademarks and income and whatnot.
]]>... if you'd have asked me who the lead jammer was, I'd have said "Smuckers."
... if you said you were going to watch Lord of the Rings, it meant you were gonna watch some god-awful animated adaptation of the books.
... 'blog' was a nonsense word one might associate with revulsion, tedium, or a substance of unknown origin and consistency
... 'twitter' was just a way to describe a twit who wouldn't shut up (oh wait, it still kinda means that. BURN!)
... a dwarf planet was a planet full of dwarves.
... it wouldn't have been unreasonable to assume Facebook was an actual book.
... I could give out my phone number without having to explain that it wasn't a cell number.
... America had only ever had white guys as presidents.
... the small TV now in my guest room could receive television signals using its own built-in analog receiver.
... "Nine-Eleven" was just a funky way of referring to 911 emergency telephone service.
... Sega was still in the video game console business.
... there wasn't yet anywhere in the world where two dudes could get legally married.
... you could still find someone who hadn't heard about Google yet.
... there weren't a pair of robot geologists roaming around Mars.
... although MMORPGs existed, none of them had more members than the Bahá'í faith.
... Al Gore wasn't in any movies, and Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't hold public office.
]]>I'm thankful that I was finally able to get in for surgery this year, and when I did, it was successful, and that my recovery has come along well -- and I'm thankful to live in an era where such a procedure is even possible. And I mustn't forget to be thankful to have friends and family that stuck around and offered their support for the whole business.
I'm thankful to have been matched up with an organization that lets me so effectively direct my talents and energy towards making positive changes in the world (and I'd be remiss not to mention the award they gave me to ice that cake).
I'm thankful to have wandered into this exotic new world which is roller derby, not just because I love the sport so much, but because my derby aspirations got me into better physical shape this summer than I'd been able to achieve on my own, and because mingling with derby folk has turned out to stir up my slightly stagnant social life.
I'm thankful that I was able to rekindle my creative fires by rethinking and redirecting some of my game development efforts this spring. And I'm thankful that, despite all the stumbles I've had in getting my indie video game business off the ground, I haven't landed myself in dire financial straits -- particularly given the economy we're in.
Last, not least, I'm thankful for all the things I take for granted most of the time. I've got food on my plate and a solid roof over my head, and that ain't too shabby.
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]]>This year was interesting since I actually had two costumes to make in October -- the first of which had nothing to do with Halloween. But more on that later... for now, here's my costume -- Talwyn Apogee from Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction. The first two shots are of the unfinished 'beta' version of my costume, which tragically lacked pleather, that I ended up wearing on Friday due to running out of time.
And a closer look at some of the pieces of my costume... the shiny bronze boots were a hit even among those people who had no idea who I was supposed to be (i.e. pretty much everyone), as were the pleather shoulder pads. And although by the end of two nights the battery was almost dead so you can't tell in the picture, the jet pack does light up. Overall there's just a couple modifications I'll want to make if I use this costume again for the Midwest Gaming Classic next spring, overall I thought it turned out pretty good. Although if I had to do it over again, I'd construct the top completely differently -- in an attempt to cut some corners and save some time I ended up making it more difficult than it needed to be. Oh well, live and learn.
Of course, a number of friends of mine showed up for Halloween this year as well. From left to right, we've got Paine, Bella, and an evil doll Charlie Hustle; Busta, vampire Heat, Bleep and her man as Lucille and Buster Bluth; Michelle and Jolin all vamped up; Sarah as Pussy in Boots; Allie Gator in Unicorn regalia; Sprout as Peter Pan; Mack as... some rock star and I probably should know who but I can't think of it; Stank as Krang (and someone I don't know as Captain Hammer); Mouse (with Brett Favre's baby); and Kraut as one of the McPoyles from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
There were a crap load of parties on Friday night, it sounded like a lot of them were awesome, too, but as I haven't quite mastered the art of being in two places at once, I kinda had to pick and choose. So I ended up at the Majestic on Friday night, and aside from the other friends I saw there, here's some of my favorites from the crowd at Halloqueen '09. Note the spot-on Carmen Sandiego in frame one and the I'm-not-sure-what-it-is-but-she's-hot in frame two, as well as the long- and short-haired Starbucks.
Halloween proper I celebrated over at the High Noon Saloon, which was kind of crazy packed. But they had a pretty sweet Cake tribute band. Here's some of the highlights of that party. Recognize the dude in frame 2? That's freakin' THORZUUL. From Storylords. Holy fucking shit. Also, near the end you'll see a shot of a boom mic operator -- this guy was going around the party holding his boom mic over the shoulders of complete strangers all night. I hear his goal was to get the mic in as many pictures as possible. It was kind of awesome.
Having been introduced to the Internet before the organizational pathways we now take for granted had been beaten down, I remember the days when finding a web page meant something. I remember when a person would have to post a joke or a photo or a list of useful information just as its own web page, not as part of some larger collective, burdened by links asking it to be rated, shared, and commented upon.
The new ways, for the most part, are better. But the old ways have a certain style and flair to them -- much like cuneiform and hieroglyphs -- that I hope we, as a culture, do not lose. If Geocities can be shut down, what will become of the classic Web gems of the era, like the Find the Spam game, or the End of the Internet? Will they, too, some day fade away? Many, like Wave to the Cats and Mr. T Ate My Balls, are already gone.
When our generation has passed on, who will remain that will have known what the early Internet was really like? Did the nascent state of the World Wide Web linger long enough to be worth of history's notice, or will 23rd-century historical texts start right off with blogs and social networking sites?
]]>![[image: NCAA and Oscar bracket]](content/2010-ncaa-and-oscar-bracket.png)